Chivalry was in the fridge taking my last beer. He's gained weight like a 4-H blue ribbon winner He hasn't shaved in days Don't ask him why He'll just say, "What do you expect from an allegory?" Then he'll turn back to watching Toddlers & Tiaras or Bridezilla. But if you press him like I did, he'll belch in your face. "Look, you get the chivalry the culture deserves. Now sod off."